Wednesday, May 18, 2005


Do Democrats cause cancer? Find out at FOXNEWS.COM

Rude Pundit, my favorite blog in the history of that superhighway that is the Internet, has a great smackdown of Fox & Friends from this morning.

Oh, sure, the right has been jostled into taking out its giant crayons to paint the picture of a [British MP George Galloway as a] madman in front of the decent Senators who are, for love of God and Bush, trying to eke out the truth. On Fox and Friends this morning, Steve "No, Really, I'm Straight" Doocy called Galloway a "bad Sean Connery imitator" (or words to that effect), thus mocking Galloway's not-really-Welsh-but-actually-Scottish accent. Meanwhile, Brian "No, Really, I'm Straight, Too" Kilmeade and E.D. "Behold My Glorious DSLs" Hill scoffed at the arrogance of Galloway, coming to "our country" to smack the U.S.A. down. Meanwhile, Norm Coleman appeared on the show to sigh and dismiss Galloway.

I do try to tune in to Fox & Friends every once & awhile, just to bear witness to what has to be the most remarkable experiment in parody-that-is-not-intended-as-parody I have ever seen. This morning they had a gentleman on there, Herman Cain, who has just published "They Think You're Stupid: Why Democrats Lost Your Vote and What Republicans Must Do to Keep It." Which begs the question: if his readers are really so SMART, why does he have to write a book to explain why they don't vote for Democrats anymore? I mean, that's something non-stupid people should know. You know?

Anyways, these dudes on Fox News were today caricatures of their actual smarmy, hopelessly unhip sycophantic personalities. One of the guys, Kilmeade I think, said something to the Cain like "and ANOTHER myth out there, is that African American votes are in the bag of the DEMOCRATS! What do you say to that?" and Cain went on about now blacks realize that the Dems want to keep them poor, and how awesome compound interest is, and being rich, and now blacks are becoming Republican! Which explains everything except how Bush could get less than 12% of the black vote two elections in a row. Seriously, it's getting to the point where conservative black pundits outnumber conservative black voters.

And then on the Fox & Friends Web site today, Kilmeade has a brilliant column in which he spouts such pearls of wisdom as "I just sense if there was no war in Iraq, Zarqwai (sic) would be here instead of running for his life over there!" ... Well, if you SENSE it, Brian, then what else do we need??

UPDATE: Courtesy of Crooks & Liars, irrefutable proof that satire is impossible with this current regime and their suck-ups.

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