Friday, April 08, 2005
Friday semen blogging
... and you were worried that I might run out of material ...
Princeton U. bans harassment suspect
Princeton University has banned from campus a graduate student charged with tampering with the drinks or secretly snipping the hair of dozens of Asian women, campus officials said yesterday.
...Lohman was already a suspect in reports of a white male pouring an unknown substance into the drinks of Asian women around campus, police said. When he was questioned last week, Lohman admitted he had secretly cut the hair of at least nine Asian women, according to the police report.
He also confessed to adding his urine and semen to the drinks of Asian women more than 50 times in the graduate student dining hall and other locations since 2002, police said.
Investigators searching the campus apartment Lohman shares with his wife found women's underwear and numerous mittens believed to be linked to thefts around Princeton.
...
"We have every reason to believe every victim is an Asian female," McManimon said.
Ummm. Jesus.
Okay, four things:
- Mittens?? Did he have some sort of "Three Little Kittens" fetish? What did his wife think of his little underwear & mitten collection, for that matter?
- Remind me not to be an Asian woman in central New Jersey any time soon.
- The way the press handles these reports is obviously my favorite part of Friday semen blogging(TM). The use of the words "pouring" and "adding" are particularly fun. POURING? Like from a container?? That he carried around with him to the parties where the Asian women were at??? Come on, Star-Ledger, enquiring minds and all that!!!
- Did he include women of Pacific Island descent as well?
