Monday, March 21, 2005

 

Are you there, God? It's me... Duffman!

Okay, perhaps the more religiously astute among you can answer some questions for me. I'm confused about the internal logic of those who are spending so much time & energy praying for Congress, the president, and the Federal Judiciary to intercede in the Schiavo lunacy. Specifically:

After this weekend's sorry spectacle, I realize what I really want: for CBS to do a reality show/Movie of the Week called "Congress: Shark Attack." Starring Sen. Bill Frist as the virgin girl who goes down to the mountainous Florida coast to defy her father's wishes, but doesn't drink or shake her booty with more than one guy or have sex, and thus is invulnerable to sharks ... Tom DeLay as the virgin-ish hard-working young boat leaser-slash-cocktail waiter who lures 35 sharks away from a gaggle of half-eaten college kids by sprinkling some dead fish around ... and Michael Schiavo as the hot-but-evil Girls Gone Wild filmer-slash-date rape drug slipper who isn't so invulnerable to sharks ...

George W. Bush, of course, is the lying owner of a competing Florida resort town who intentionally spreads chum around the reef in order to scare the kids and drum up business for his location, thereby condeming several nubiles to an early death. Because even no matter what, he's still a death-dealing bastard.

Comments:
Three cheers for the new "culture of life". Now let's fry some juvinile delinquents!
 
Ha ha - Congress: Shark Attack. FUNNNNNNY. You have panache, and I like that. I just posted a rant about reality t.v. that you may appreciate, AFTER you stop by and enter my Kilt Contest, that is. I'm at http://citricritic.blogspot.com

I'll be back to read more, Hedonist. You're my kinda person.
Citrus.
 
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