Wednesday, May 11, 2005

 

Today's News: If Christ Came to Chicago

The Sun-Times carried two pieces on Jesus today. First from the AP:

“Even Jesus Christ can't circumvent the rules for getting a driver's license in West Virginia. Attempts to prove his name really is Christ have led the man born as Peter Robert Phillips Jr. through a lengthy legal battle and a recent victory in the District of Columbia Court of Appeals…

Described by his attorney as a white-haired businessman in his mid-50s, Christ is moving to West Virginia to enjoy a slower lifestyle. He bought property near Lost River, about 100 miles west of Washington, and has a U.S. passport, Social Security card and Washington driver's license bearing the name Jesus Christ. But he still falls short of West Virginia title and license transfer requirements…

Any comment from the man in the middle of this legal tussle? "Christ is not speaking to the press at this time," said his attorney....



And from a favorite local writer in the Sun-Times, Mark Konkol:

“While Jesus Christ is having trouble getting a drivers license in Appalachia, his name is being used in vain all over Chicago area telephone directories. A search of public records on the Internet produced 16 Jesus Christs living in Illinois, all of them phony listings…

They include a 29-year-old Jesus Christ on Heaven Drive in Elgin and Jesus J. Christ at 111th and God Street, where the savior reportedly lived in apartment No. 9….A call to 411 prompted what appeared to be a non-believer's retort."Searching for Jesus Christ in Chicago and the surrounding area. Sorry, there is no listing," the operator said blankly....

“And God didn't answer at the new phone number listed for Jesus Christ on South Laflin. It was Helen Watkins on the line. When asked if she knew Jesus, the elderly woman answered with unshakable faith. "He's my savior," she said. Does he live there?....

"Yes, in my heart," she said. "I've had three strokes, a heart attack, a broken femur, a broken hip and brain surgery. Don't you think he lives here? ... [But] his name isn't on the mailbox."…A search of state driving records didn't find a Jesus Christ with a valid drivers license.”


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